Arcadians Spark Revolution with Chardonnay and Vuvuzela – Ewell never believe it!
Original Present Party: André Wagener (a.k.a “Il Duce”), Colin Walker (a.k.a “Tequila Chilly”, Thomas Van Poucke (a.k.a “Michael J Fox was not a Werewolf, he’d just had his first “Monkey Face”…long story edit), Vincent Lietaert/Count Lazlo Ballcuzzi (a.k.a. Laird of Chardonnay and other fruity delights”, Shaggy “Pope of Dope” Bronchart, Alvandré Thompson (a.k.a “the Rhyming Revolutionary”), Jan “You look good in Pink” De Baets AWOL: Khurram “the hitman-and-run” Syed and Sam “Monsta Truckz” Zaheel Replacements: “Pumba-the-Knackered-Knees” Gregson, Ashley “Dizzie the Swerve” Smith, Wassie “a.k.a 85 cent, all drinks included” and Amish Lin from Niki-land. Arcadians CC Ghent tour of the UK 28 – 31 May 2010
Day 0ne
It started with a BANG…Literally. Last year’s early starters were at it again. Khurram and Sam, unbeknown to their respective better-halves,
had been invited to (and accepted) the annual World Strip Poker Championship on the Thursday night at a secret London resort.
In their eagerness to get there, Sam tried to crunch a truck in his path at a roundabout in Lille – reminiscent of Monsta Trucks…
…Unfortunately, our deadly Poker duo did not land the jump correctly. Seriously – Sam and Khurram we wish you both well and a speedy
recovery from the untimely prang. We missed you on tour, and there will be other occasions.
Thus, the nine players that were originally going to take on the might of Sutton had just become seven.
It could so easily have just been six. André tasted some frank British custom questioning: “So you are South African travelling
under a Dutch passport but live in Belgium? Anything to declare? Like a Nigerian uncle with oil millions?”
Back in Sutton, one could almost hear Steve ‘the Hitman’ Hall* (Sutton’s most potent all-rounder) chuckling as he prepared to pepper
our bowlers all over the place. Khuram – Steve wants his cap back!
Never fear, Mussolini is here. André made a call and Graham Coetze was drafted in to help the Arcadians cause. Highlights of this game
included a great opening stand of 112 by Colin and Tom. Jan’s 3 not out batting at four. With the ball, André was lethal
(3 for 21 off 7 overs), Graham chipped in with 2 wickets and Alvandré helped with zero for almost 40 off 5.
Apologies for the brevity of this write up, but the roving reporter had not arrived yet. The full scorecard tells a better picture.
Once again a big “thank-you” to Sutton CC.
After the game, the Arcadians were treated like venerable kings by the hosting Sutton club. We hope that we can repay your hospitality one
day in Ghent. Onwards and upwards. Next up, S(l)utton was on the menu for a bit of late night gyrating and friendly frolicking.
Decked out in his finest tap-dance shoes and jet-back trilby, Eagle-Eye C did to Sutton what Che G did to Cuba – he started a
Revolution…With moves that we thought had died with Michael Jackson, Thompson had many heads turning in the Revolutions Nite Club,
and suffice to say many stomachs too. R&B has taken on a whole new meaning.
By 03.00 the group decided that it was dinner time, and Pete’s famous Burger Van on the High Street was in for a windfall as our
trumpet-wielding gang of misfits savaged burgers, buns and onions. This was washed down with ale from a Umfelvuza-thingee.
Day Two
The replacements have been drafted in to bring some law and potentially some cricketing order to proceedings. At the break of dawn,
yours truly picks up Esquire Smith at his Château in Laarne (room for a second strip in the garden, boys), Skipper Wassie at HQ H.I.
UZ and then braves the wilds of Amish country to kidnap Niki from a life of manual corn farming…
By 09.00 local time the four extras have well passed the boundary, are settled and almost approaching Sutton’s maize of clever
one-way through-fares. To all new arrivals, as the Faithless track goes, “we would die for you kill for you…Welcome”. And we almost
did when we saw the state of the Revolutionary boys. Messy. For example, Tommy appears in the corridor, shaved yes, but apparently dazed.
Mary Poppins for a plate of full fat grease, eggs, mushrooms and bacon was the only way to get rid of hangovers and dodgy bellies.
Unfortunately, Shaggy didn’t get what he bargained for when he orders 17 grams of Hash Browns…It was like someone had just eaten
his last Scooby-snack right under his nose. Vintage Vinnie and Smoothies Walker did not repeat 2009’s menu misdemeanours,
both also opting for the full-on Big English. Although one wonders if Vinnie’s alter-ego, Das P0rn König Lazlo, was dreaming
up a new flick title.
During the course of the morning it transpired that Sunday’s game versus Cheam at Cheam Road was a non-flyer (they couldn’t get
the numbers). Many frantic calls and much texting mater, Stevie Woddy Woodbridge comes up with the goods and we have a game versus
Ewell CC a.k.a as West-end Ewell. Thanks Steve – you are a star and thoroughly deserve your Cross of St. George’s! Before then, we
had the litte matter of Old Manhattan’s CC in Old Ditton. Under slate grey skies, self imposed Skipper Audrey lost the toss again,
and we were put into bat on a suspect surface with drizzle whirling around. Before you can shout “Tickle it, ya wriggler
(steady Vinnie)”, Ashley’s gloved one to the keeper without scoring. Niki Lin quickly followed meaning that Pumba batting
at three was called into steady the ship. Receiving excellent support and advice from Vincent, the pair put on a sizeable
partnership, before G A I (Geoffrey, Andrew, Ian) Lietaert fell for an admirable 6. By now Gregson was seeing the ball
well enough and placed a few nice boundaries to get the scoreboard ticking over. Wassie arrived, but soon left,
deceived by a vicious in-swinger. Axel F did no better. Eventually, a sharp catch saw the rotund Zimbo back in the
hutch for 43. The score was now on 70 for 7. André (38) and Tom (45*) then rattled the bowling all over the park to
bring the score to respectable triple figures. Colin chipped in with a cameo 13* and Ghent’s finest had posted 184
for 8 after 35 on a decidedly difficult track. The sun was coming out and it was time for some Sri Lankan magic.
Tour veteran Wassie was thrown the new ball, and soon showed the younger generations how to consistently bowl line and length.
The Kandy King end with figures of 7 overs, 1 Maiden, 3 for 19. Two other tidy bowling displays came from unlikely candidates.
Ashley ‘I’m as mean as Brett’ Smith delivered some juicy balls and snagged two valuable top-order batsman. The Queen of Shakes
(Strawberry no other) Colin Walker then bamboozled the lower order with a delightful array of spin, turn, flight and errm luck.
No seriously, Walker’s wilely stylee trapped Kav LBW and cleaned up on Tobias. However, Old Manhattans were not in a mood to
surrender silently. Blowers, their Captain and Keeper, played a rugged defensive knock, keeping the good ‘un out and the bad
ones away. He reached his 50 with 30 odd runs to get.
Ciao Bella – Il Duce was pranching up and down the covers like a Maffia Boss who’s lost his favourite meatball restaurant.
He decided to bring himself on and Arcadians closed out the 35 overs ending 21 runs ahead. Jippee – our first tour win,
and one to be celebrated in style.
Gregson and co fast-tracked it back to the Holiday Inn, on route stopping at Sam Sara finest Curry establishment to order
a table for 11. And what a banquet; 11 greedy beggars feasted on poppadums, onion bajees, naan breads (5 varieties),
dansak, rogan josh, biryanni, vindaloo all washed down with ample amounts of Cobra. It was here that André elected
to present the Pink Jacket winner of the day. Several contenders dodge the accolade which went to Alvandre. Why?
Our leading wicket-taker and Rhythm Revolutionary was on a mare: Tour bowling stats to date 12 overs 0 maidens
ZERO wickets for 71 runs.
By midnight we were out of the Curry house and on route to the High Street. After several aborted attempts
at entering a club, we felt pity for Jan De Bladder and settled on the old hunting ground the Moon on the Hill where Jan relieved himself.
15 minutes later he re-emerged just in time to catch some Vintage Vinnie dialogue...
Busty Bar-tender, complete with nose-ring and an industrial layer of mascara, :“Hello can I get you something?”Vinnie: “Well hellooo. Yes I would like a beverage.”
Bar-tender: “OK, anything in particular?”
Vinnie: “I see that you have wine on tap.”
Bar-tender: “Yes. Red or white?”
Vinnie: “White. It is chilled?”
And finally: the Tom Van Poucke show!